New appreciation for AYBS? writers

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

Has this ever happened to you?

You spend weeks or months writing an AYBS? fanwork that you think is going to be hilarious. Then you proof read it. And then the self doubt starts:

"Where did all the jokes go? It sounded funny while I was writing it."
"Wait, didn't they do that in the ________ episode?"
"Did I really just use 'the sleeve will ride up with wear' joke 4 different times!?!"
"Is any of this original?"
"Is my Mr. Humphries too gay?... Not gay enough?"
"Harmon or Mash? Mash or Harmon? Harmon or Mash?..."
"8 pages to set up that gag?!?"
"Would he/she really say that? Oh, no! He/she already said that in 'A Change is as Good as a Rest'"
"I thought it was getting too long and I just read it in 10 minutes!"
"Peacock's got too many lines and he's not one of the funny ones! D@*# it, I need more Lucas!"
"WWSD?" (What would Slocumbe do?)
"If my Mr. Humphries is more realistic than my Mr. Lucus does that mean I am.... AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

To post the script or not to post? That is the question!
Wether 'tis nobler to post an awful script and suffer the slings and arrows of deserved derision or to let it die a quiet death on my hard drive? Alas!

I never suffered this much doubt over any of the music I wrote!

One thing is for sure, my respect for the original AYBS? writers is through the roof!

Cpl.er...Capt. Joe
A.K.A.: Lost in Editing Purgatory

[sonosun]

You can't get upset about repeating jokes. The writers did it faithfully. Let someone else read it .:)

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

I was planning on submitting it to Minki today, until my last read through. It could seriously use a few more good jokes. It's missing a good 'Lucas being late' story or 'Humphries escapade', too.

After sleeping on it, I've definitely decided to submit it... soon. Maybe by 2011. '14 at latest.

For anyone else out there who has tried to write one, it is worth the effort if you have a masochistic bent.:D But it is true that the hard part is coming up with a good new prop idea and a problem the staff needs to overcome. Once you have that, the hard part is finding a solution to the problem. Then you've just got to bring the funny.

Currently I think I'm at :).
I hope to at least get to :lol:.
It takes a real writer to get to :emotlol:.

[Lucas The Tucas]

Dear Cpl. Joe


Try this site for some scrips .... :worship:


http://www.thecanteen.com/aybs.html


AKA ...... the Executive Kharzi ...



:lucas01:

(http://www.thecanteen.com/aybs.html)

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

Let us see it and we'll be the judge of it.

Years ago I wanted to do a thread where I would start the story and let other people put their two cents in. I was to be the director of sorts, give you the cast the idea and let you run away with it.

Still might do it one of these days.

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

Thanks Lucas t. Tukas!

I was trying to avoid reading other scripts so as not to accidentally plaigarize someone else's stuff. (I'm the same with music; can't listen to other stuff when I compose.)

But now that I'm done, (I decided to submit it as it was), I'm curious at how well others have taken up the challenge. I read the few on the site here (www.minki.net/aybs/fanworks.html (http://www.minki.net/aybs/fanworks.html)) this afternoon. Your suggestion had several more. I might try them tomorrow.

I'll make sure (if it passes the mustard) to get the word out when its up.:wave:

[Red Shadow]

What good timing for this topic! I just finished writing an AYBS story too. I'll be submitting it to Minki soon. It revolves around a Christmas theme; I never thought there were enough true Christmas episodes of AYBS.

[sonosun]

I just have to say this. A few years back,before the show was on DVD, a young man posted his 'original' script to one of my mail lists. He never, ever posted anything again. He ripped it from the Executive Kharzi. :lol:

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

That's exactly why I didn't read any of the other fanworks once I decided to try writing one.

I had a hard enough time trying not to sound like one of the real shows. Even they recycled jokes and plot lines. To come up with a totally original idea to fill whole show is nearly impossible.

The best I could do was when it started to sound like a familiar scene, I either cut it, take a different angle on it, or try to take it farther then the original show did.

Part of my story is Rumbold getting demoted. We've seen Spooner get demoted to Lift Boy, in 'Goodbye, Mrs. Slocumbe' she joined Packing and Maintainence as well as Peacock, Rumbold as a lift Boy, Grainger made a junior in 'A Change is as Good as a Rest', and the whole staff sent to the bargan basement... there is very little new plot there. But I thought it interesting to see what would happen to Rumbold if he had to work a whole day under Mash and Harman. Is demoting a staff member a new idea? No. Is how I wrote it original enough? :shrug:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

What good timing for this topic! I just finished writing an AYBS story too. I'll be submitting it to Minki soon. It revolves around a Christmas theme; I never thought there were enough true Christmas episodes of AYBS.

I totally agree with you RS. One can never get enough Christmasy AYBS?.

[Dean]

The AYBS shows divide into well-constructed farces like "Dear Sexy Knickers" and shows that are really just a series of connected sketches like the toy department one. Obviously a farce is harder to plot. But either way it has to have an end. If Mr Rumbold is demoted, how does it end and how do they get there? In some ways it's easier to plot backwards.

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

True, working the plot from the end forward is much easier in writing. For a comedy series like AYBS and on others, you also have to end the show in a way that things return to normal when it's over.

For example, it would be too twisted to kill off a cast member in a fanscript... interesting, but twisted.

(Mysteriously) Who really knows what happened to Mr. Lucas! :?(Evil laugh)

[minki]

Thanks Lucas t. Tukas!

I was trying to avoid reading other scripts so as not to accidentally plaigarize someone else's stuff. (I'm the same with music; can't listen to other stuff when I compose.)

But now that I'm done, (I decided to submit it as it was), I'm curious at how well others have taken up the challenge. I read the few on the site here (www.minki.net/aybs/fanworks.html (http://www.minki.net/aybs/fanworks.html)) this afternoon. Your suggestion had several more. I might try them tomorrow.

I'll make sure (if it passes the mustard) to get the word out when its up.:wave:

And I got it and it's going to make for a good read today :). It'll be up by tonight--I'll post when it goes live.

Fan script or fanfiction writing is hard--on one hand, you definitely want to avoid ripping off other people, intentionally or otherwise. But on the other hand, the characters' personalities are pretty well defined and if you stay in canon (character), they're going to respond in predictable ways to situations and so there may be hints of similarity in even the most random fics.

For example, if a lady hits on Mr. Humphries, 95% of the time he's going to a bit coy and flirty but trying to escape. You can stretch it a bit (see Erotic Dreams and whatever the episode was where he went to pitch a little woo--the Agent, I believe) and still get away with it being Mr. Humphries...but if you go any further without a good reason for it, you take Mr. Humphries way out of character...and then he's not Mr. Humphries anymore and people read it and say, "Huh?" :)

I have got to get working on some of mine. As soon as classes are over I'll do just that--there's an idea I've had for a fic for years and AFAIK the topic hasn't been done yet :)

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

By all means; school work first, then fun!

If I had only listened to that bit of wisdom, I would have gotten that degree in under 7 years!:lol:

Good luck with your classes!

[minki]

Oh this isn't my first degree--but this is a degree I'll actually be doing something with ;)

Moving back to topic: Joe's fanscript is up on the site and it's awesome :D
http://www.minki.net/aybs/The_Christmas_Party.rtf

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

Important Correction!!!!:

:?There has been a minor snafu. The new fanwork posted "The Christmas Party" is not mine, but has mistakenly been attributed to me.

I'm sure this will soon be corrected. I have contacted Minki -- twice -- as soon as I noticed there was an error. My guess is that she has received several new submissions recently and they were accidentally mixed up. Understandable given her schedule!

To whomever wrote "The Christmas Party"... excellent job! Hopefully my script, "Riding the Rails" will be added soon. (Although "The Christmas Party" is better.):)

If someone knows the work or its author, please contact Minki.

Thanks,
cpl.er...Capt. Joe:wave:

[minki]

My bad :( I did get the two confused. It's not often I get more than one to read at a time!

The correct author is Red Shadow, who hopefully will forgive me for the snafu.

Joe's fic will be up in a bit.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

Red Shadow you've done very well !!! I'm only a few pages into it but I've loving it !!

[Red Shadow]

Thank you, Greg! After I sent the script to Minki, I realized I hadn't included my forum name, so I was wondering if she'd know who sent it to her. It's almost like the "Dear Sexy Knickers" note...now we know how easy it is to attribute something to the wrong author. :D

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

Well done, Red Shadow! You've definitely set the bar high. It will be hard to follow your story. You nailed the characters perfectly!

Humphries and the misletoe...:lol::lol::lol:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

Thank you, Greg! After I sent the script to Minki, I realized I hadn't included my forum name, so I was wondering if she'd know who sent it to her. It's almost like the "Dear Sexy Knickers" note...now we know how easy it is to attribute something to the wrong author. :D


Well good sir I've finished the story and absolutely loved it !! As I was reading it I could envisioned the characters in my head. I even heard the theme song at the end.

Excellent !! Now you better get busy on the next one !!! :lol:

[minki]

Here's Joe's fic, which is also a fun one to read :)
http://www.minki.net/aybs/Riding_the_Rails.rtf

You've both done very well!

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

Very much enjoyed that one as well !!!

:verywell:

[Red Shadow]

I agree. Congratulations on writing a very funny and true-to-the-show episode, Joe! I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say we'd love to read more of your works.

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

Thank you all, very much. I couldn't have done it without my extraordinady intellect, talent, and humility! :wine:

I had a few ideas on other scripts, but after recalling all the work the first one took and with the holidays here, I doubt if it will even think about doing another one soon.

I have often wondered about storylines of the staff outside the store. (ex: Lucas' life after Grace Brothers, Jessica Lovelock meeting Young Mr. Grace before the Carribean incident.) I would like to do one with Old Mr. Grace kicking the bucket and YMG returning to the store, but that would be going too far. Perhaps some stories shouldn't be written!

[larsen525]

:verywell:


:slochead:: "And I am unanimous in that!"

- Erik

[Wilhelmina Humphries]

I'd write one but as i'm new to the show it'd be a disaster.

[Dean]

congrats to our budding writers! If only so many of the cast hadn't passed on, we could get a new season going!