GaF/AYBSA episodes you would have liked to seen!

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

I'm sure he has to fall or step in some bucket while at the Manor! ;)

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

A Japanese tour group arrives at the Manor. One of the members is Mr Kato (from "Hand of Fate") He recognizes the Staff from Grace Bros and becomes very agitated. The Staff make extra efforts to serve him, or dare I say trip over themselves. At the end of the episode, Mr Kato falls down the main staircase. The rest of the tour group is amused. On of them comments "Bucket-head Kato does it again." then informs the Staff that Mr Kato has always been clumsy.

:lol: :lol:

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

I don't know if it is a big holiday in Brittan, but I could see a "Sexy Knickers"-type Valentine's Day show. An innocent Valentine's Day card from Mavis to Mr. Humphries gets accidentally passed from hand to hand embroiling the staff in several different and implausible romantic expectations. Some (Mrs. Slocombe & Jessica) find the card not knowing whom the secret admirer may be; others think it from unexpected matches (Malcolm from Miss Brahms, Rumbold from Jessica, Moulterd from Peacock). The episode would end at midnight with all the staff (minus Mavis & Humphries) meeting behind the woodshed to meet or confront their non-interested rendezvous-ee.

After they all deny sending the card, Peacock exclaims "Well one of us must have sent it!" At that moment, they hear a very girly, excited giggle from a window high above and the voice of Mavis call "Will you close that window and come back to bed, Mr. Humphries?" All look up to see Mr. Humphries at his open bedroom window. With all eyes staring, Mr. Humphries closes the window with the words, "Move along! Move along! Nothing to see here!"

[sirrichard]

I miss this show

[BasilBJr]

Violent fluctuations in the supernatural events causes the staffs' spirits to go into other bodies. It is hilarious confusion as they try to figue out who's who. At the end, when they think everything is back to normal, one of them will see in an ereily familiar voice "You've all done very well."

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

Violent fluctuations in the supernatural events causes the staffs' spirits to go into other bodies. It is hilarious confusion as they try to figure out who's who. At the end, when they think everything is back to normal, one of them will see in an eerily familiar voice "You've all done very well."

This would have been an excellent idea and a nice Halloween special. :yes:

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

I know it was done to death on AYBS, but I would easily trade "Lost & Found" for a G&F episode where Mavis mistakes Mr. Humphries' flowery speech for a marriage proposal, leaving Humphries to decide whether or not to marry her or explain his actual lifestyle.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

That would have worked. It would have been hilarious him explaining gay men to her and the whole time she has this blank, expressionless look on her face.

[BasilBJr]

On a trip to England with their company, a group consisting of Mr Williams, Mr Johnson, Mr Higgenbottom, and Mr Levesque stay at the Manor. When Malcolm once again comes to harass and threaten Mr Humphries, the guests step in. Mr Higgenbottom plays some sweet music, Mr Johnson causes Malcolm to hit rock bottom, Mr Willams proves quite stunning, and Mr Levesque shows his pedigree.

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

In desperate straights for cash, the staff rent out Millstone Manor to a BBC film company shooting a historical costume drama on a tight schedule. When the director comes up short of extras, the staff get to fill in odd parts and as very unlikely stunt doubles. When the male lead comes down with food poisoning from takeaway tandoori chicken, Peacock, Rumbold, and Humphries angle for the part of Henry VIII, but to no avail. The director and producer are ready to shut down and cancel the project but take one last walk around the farm. When they walk past Mr. Moulterd, he hears Moulterd scold Mavis who should already have left for the market with the chickens. "Blast it girl, you should have been off with them hens!"

"Say that again!" pleads the director.
"What? Off with them hens?"
"Yes, but say it with passion!!"
"Off with 'en hens!!!" cries Moulterd confused.
"Brilliant! We have our star!"

Roll credits with Moulterd dressed as Henry VIII, Mr. Humphries dressed as the axe-weilding head-chopper standing over Mrs. Slocombe as Anne Boleyn, Mavis as a beautiful (and for once cleaned up future bride of Henry, Jessica dressed as a poor scrub woman, Rumbold as a court jester, Peacock as Sir Thomas Moore, and Miss Brahms... ...for some reason in a suit of armor.

[sonosun]

In desperate straights for cash, the staff rent out Millstone Manor to a BBC film company shooting a historical costume drama on a tight schedule. When the director comes up short of extras, the staff get to fill in odd parts and as very unlikely stunt doubles. When the male lead comes down with food poisoning from takeaway tandoori chicken, Peacock, Rumbold, and Humphries angle for the part of Henry VIII, but to no avail. The director and producer are ready to shut down and cancel the project but take one last walk around the farm. When they walk past Mr. Moulterd, he hears Moulterd scold Mavis who should already have left for the market with the chickens. "Blast it girl, you should have been off with them hens!"

"Say that again!" pleads the director.
"What? Off with them hens?"
"Yes, but say it with passion!!"
"Off with 'en hens!!!" cries Moulterd confused.
"Brilliant! We have our star!"

Roll credits with Moulterd dressed as Henry VIII, Mr. Humphries dressed as the axe-weilding head-chopper standing over Mrs. Slocombe as Anne Boleyn, Mavis as a beautiful (and for once cleaned up future bride of Henry, Jessica dressed as a poor scrub woman, Rumbold as a court jester, Peacock as Sir Thomas Moore, and Miss Brahms... ...for some reason in a suit of armor.

Very good Capn Joe. as for Miss Brahms in a suit of armor. It works for me.:yes:

[Xymers]

:clap: cpl.er...Capt. Joe, you are amazingly creative. "Well done!" for all of your suggestions.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[BasilBJr]

Having failed at cricket and darts, Malcolm Heathcliff forms a rugby team and challenges the Manor to a match. Malcolm thinks he's finally won, believing that the Manor will decline. But Miss Brahms reminds them that her brother was a rugby player, and is now a coach. Her brother, played by Michael Atwell, shows up with his team (British fans fill in the name of a rugby team). Malcolm's team is thoroughly trounced, and once more Malcolm is made to look like a fool. When Miss Brahms' brother meets Henry Heathcliff, each says that the other reminds them of someone.

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

:thumbup:

[BasilBJr]

The Staff discovers the Internet. Capt. Peacock begins corresponding with a Russian woman named Elena. She sends him sexy pics, which naturally sends his hormones into overdrive. The rest of the Staff try to tell him that it's all a scam, but he won't listen, claiming that he can spot a scam. Eventually Elena wants to come for a visit and maybe evn work at the Manor. But, of course she needs money to get to England. Peacock loots the tronk to send her the money. Naturally, Elena never shows. The Staff decide that as punishment, Peacock has to work on the farm under the watchful eye of Mr Moulterd. The episode concludes with Mr Humphries hearing from a Nigerian woman. Not taken in, WCH asks if anyone remembers the name of the one-legged Nigerian tapdancer he once tried to impersonate.

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

:emotlol:I can see Peacock blaming her no show on being a spy for the KGB and not a common scammer. Then claim he was doing it as an agent of MI5-6-or-7 or whatever they are called, and would be paid back as soon as the case is declassified.

[sonosun]

The Staff discovers the Internet. Capt. Peacock begins corresponding with a Russian woman named Elena. She sends him sexy pics, which naturally sends his hormones into overdrive. The rest of the Staff try to tell him that it's all a scam, but he won't listen, claiming that he can spot a scam. Eventually Elena wants to come for a visit and maybe evn work at the Manor. But, of course she needs money to get to England. Peacock loots the tronk to send her the money. Naturally, Elena never shows. The Staff decide that as punishment, Peacock has to work on the farm under the watchful eye of Mr Moulterd. The episode concludes with Mr Humphries hearing from a Nigerian woman. Not taken in, WCH asks if anyone remembers the name of the one-legged Nigerian tapdancer he once tried to impersonate.

I like this.:yes:

[sonosun]

:emotlol:I can see Peacock blaming her no show on being a spy for the KGB and not a common scammer. Then claim he was doing it as an agent of MI5-6-or-7 or whatever they are called, and would be paid back as soon as the case is declassified.

:lol:

[Aidan Phoenix]

Picture it! England, 1992. Blanche, Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia win a trip sponsored by BenGay (shut up, Greg). Two weeks, all expense paid, to London. But it's for two people, so they work it out with the women and decide instead of sending them to a five-star hotel they shall send them to a British country manor.
The women arrive at Millstone Manor and the fun begins. Blanche tries to hook up with Captain Peacock, Dorothy befriends Humphries (despite Sophia's protests of 'He's a fancy man!'), and Rose is overjoyed to be on a farm again. Sophia runs into Malcolm, who's giving Humphries a hard time (again, shut up, Greg) and ends up putting a Sicilian curse on him until he backs off, then sits around with Morris and they swap X-rated stories. The women later sit around the parlour with Brahms and Slocombe, swapping stories and sipping brandy. Humphries joins them for girl-talk and Blanche sends naughty notes to Captain Peacock, hoping to see 'the corporal'.
This would have to be a two or three part episode, as I'm sure Rose would want to remain behind to work on the farm with Morris and Mavis, perhaps bonding with the farmer and even beating some of the locals at Scrumpy-drinking contests. Dorothy and Blanche would both speculate about Humphries. Sophia would take over the kitchen eventually, since she'd hardly be able to stomach English fare. It would have been a great cross-over!

[gracegirl1974]

I love it! :thumbup:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:emotlol: You really made me giggle this morning buddy. Thanks for the laugh.

[Aidan Phoenix]

:emotlol: You really made me giggle this morning buddy. Thanks for the laugh.
Like Humphries, I aim to please. I even bend over backwards sometimes. ;)

Had another idea: Ghost Hunters International checks out Millstone Manor after several reports of paranormal activity. After one night of experiences the team calls Jason and Grant to hop the pond and check it out personally. Humphries teams up with Brian and Steve, who come face to face with a full-body apparition and shouts, 'DUDE! RUN!' Slocombe teams up with Kristen and Brahms while Jason and Grant check out the barn. Rumbold and Peacock stay behind to monitor the equipment (in other words, they're wusses). The next morning they all sit around and listen to EVPs, only to find out that Slocombe and Brahms gossiped all night and Humphries somehow contacted the spirit of Young Mr Grace. Can we all guess what the EVP sounded like? Yes. 'You've all done very well!'

[gracegirl1974]

Had another idea: Ghost Hunters International checks out Millstone Manor after several reports of paranormal activity. After one night of experiences the team calls Jason and Grant to hop the pond and check it out personally. Humphries teams up with Brian and Steve, who come face to face with a full-body apparition and shouts, 'DUDE! RUN!' Slocombe teams up with Kristen and Brahms while Jason and Grant check out the barn. Rumbold and Peacock stay behind to monitor the equipment (in other words, they're wusses). The next morning they all sit around and listen to EVPs, only to find out that Slocombe and Brahms gossiped all night and Humphries somehow contacted the spirit of Young Mr Grace. Can we all guess what the EVP sounded like? Yes. 'You've all done very well!'
:lol: I like it!

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

Picture it! England, 1992. Blanche, Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia win a trip sponsored by BenGay (shut up, Greg). Two weeks, all expense paid, to London. But it's for two people, so they work it out with the women and decide instead of sending them to a five-star hotel they shall send them to a British country manor.
The women arrive at Millstone Manor and the fun begins. Blanche tries to hook up with Captain Peacock, Dorothy befriends Humphries (despite Sophia's protests of 'He's a fancy man!'), and Rose is overjoyed to be on a farm again. Sophia runs into Malcolm, who's giving Humphries a hard time (again, shut up, Greg) and ends up putting a Sicilian curse on him until he backs off, then sits around with Morris and they swap X-rated stories. The women later sit around the parlour with Brahms and Slocombe, swapping stories and sipping brandy. Humphries joins them for girl-talk and Blanche sends naughty notes to Captain Peacock, hoping to see 'the corporal'.
This would have to be a two or three part episode, as I'm sure Rose would want to remain behind to work on the farm with Morris and Mavis, perhaps bonding with the farmer and even beating some of the locals at Scrumpy-drinking contests. Dorothy and Blanche would both speculate about Humphries. Sophia would take over the kitchen eventually, since she'd hardly be able to stomach English fare. It would have been a great cross-over!

:clap:I could really see this one!

[anglophile31]

Picture it! England, 1992. Blanche, Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia win a trip sponsored by BenGay (shut up, Greg). Two weeks, all expense paid, to London. But it's for two people, so they work it out with the women and decide instead of sending them to a five-star hotel they shall send them to a British country manor.
The women arrive at Millstone Manor and the fun begins. Blanche tries to hook up with Captain Peacock, Dorothy befriends Humphries (despite Sophia's protests of 'He's a fancy man!'), and Rose is overjoyed to be on a farm again. Sophia runs into Malcolm, who's giving Humphries a hard time (again, shut up, Greg) and ends up putting a Sicilian curse on him until he backs off, then sits around with Morris and they swap X-rated stories. The women later sit around the parlour with Brahms and Slocombe, swapping stories and sipping brandy. Humphries joins them for girl-talk and Blanche sends naughty notes to Captain Peacock, hoping to see 'the corporal'.
This would have to be a two or three part episode, as I'm sure Rose would want to remain behind to work on the farm with Morris and Mavis, perhaps bonding with the farmer and even beating some of the locals at Scrumpy-drinking contests. Dorothy and Blanche would both speculate about Humphries. Sophia would take over the kitchen eventually, since she'd hardly be able to stomach English fare. It would have been a great cross-over!

:emotlol:

I don't even watch The Golden Girls, but I think this is epic. I wish to God this had happened on the show! :verywell:
Like Humphries, I aim to please. I even bend over backwards sometimes. ;)

Had another idea: Ghost Hunters International checks out Millstone Manor after several reports of paranormal activity. After one night of experiences the team calls Jason and Grant to hop the pond and check it out personally. Humphries teams up with Brian and Steve, who come face to face with a full-body apparition and shouts, 'DUDE! RUN!' Slocombe teams up with Kristen and Brahms while Jason and Grant check out the barn. Rumbold and Peacock stay behind to monitor the equipment (in other words, they're wusses). The next morning they all sit around and listen to EVPs, only to find out that Slocombe and Brahms gossiped all night and Humphries somehow contacted the spirit of Young Mr Grace. Can we all guess what the EVP sounded like? Yes. 'You've all done very well!'

:lol: Oh, yes! I could get on board with this one too...I love Ghost Hunters! And I always thought it would be cool if the "spirits" hanging about the manor was just YMG.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

Had another idea: Ghost Hunters International checks out Millstone Manor after several reports of paranormal activity. After one night of experiences the team calls Jason and Grant to hop the pond and check it out personally. Humphries teams up with Brian and Steve, who come face to face with a full-body apparition and shouts, 'DUDE! RUN!' Slocombe teams up with Kristen and Brahms while Jason and Grant check out the barn. Rumbold and Peacock stay behind to monitor the equipment (in other words, they're wusses). The next morning they all sit around and listen to EVPs, only to find out that Slocombe and Brahms gossiped all night and Humphries somehow contacted the spirit of Young Mr Grace. Can we all guess what the EVP sounded like? Yes. 'You've all done very well!'

:thumbup:

[BasilBJr]

My apologies to H.P.Lovecraft fans.

While going through the Manor's study, Capt. Peacock discovers several unusual books, including the Necronomicon, of the Mad Arab Abdul Alhazred. The others try to warn him to stay away from books like that, but naturally Peacock scoffs at such "nonsense". He reads a few nearly unpronounceable phrases, and the Staff's minds are seized by the Spawn of Cthulhu:

:rumboldthink:"Yog-Sothoth, are you free"

:humpmad:"I'm Free!"

The Spawn found their new forms puzzleing to the point of being incomprehensible. Shub-Niggureth (The goat with a thousand young) is confused as to the fact that her body is inordinately fond of a creature known as a pussy. Their confusion about their new forms prevents any further planning, and the original personalities start to reassert themselves, resulting in exchanges like this:

:rumboldthink:"Dagon, the fact that I am in this form has no bearing on my authority."

:peacock01:"It's rather difficult to take you seriously without your tentecles."

:rumboldthink:"I am not used to being spoken to in that manner"

:anger:"Well, you better get used to it. We're not in R'lyeh now."

or this

TSAGOTHA/MOULTERD - My word Shubby, you're a fine figure of a creature. Set an Old One on fire."

:slocrhino:"Tsagotha, although we may have been aquainted billons of years ago on Yuggoth, the passage of time has canceled out any familiarity. I prefer to be known a Shub-Niggureth, the Goat With a Thousand Young."

TSAGOTHA - "My word, you aint half come on since you was known as the Yuggoth Bicycle." The he croaks like a toad.

UNAMED SPAWN POSSESSING :brahmhead1: "So that's why she has a thousand young.

:slocrhino:"Don't be cheeky to Great Ones."
Yog-Sothoth:humpmad:is surprised to find that he is neither one way or the other.

The situation deteriorates into muti-directional arguements, when suddenly a fierce wind blows through the Manor, and ejects the Spawn. The Staff realizes how close they came to destruction, and Peacock promises to never pick up a book like that again. Mrs Slocombe wonders why she is covered in goat fleece. In answer to their queries as to how they were freed, they hear a faint voice on the wind

"You've all done very well."

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

Creepily funny, Basil! :lol:

[sonosun]

Very nice BasilBjr. I'm not pronouncing your name improperly BasilBjr, but the right way BAsilBjr. :yes:

[gracegirl1974]

Very nice BasilBjr. I'm not pronouncing your name improperly BasilBjr, but the right way BAsilBjr. :yes::lol:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

Good one Basil. :lol:

[BasilBJr]

Exhibition baseball comes to England. When complications prevent the game from occuring at Wembly, the only field available on such short notice is at Millstone Manor. A certain team takes up residence, and he Staff struggle to accomodate their new guests. The very word "exhibition" gets Mr Humphries' interest, and he and Miss Brahms argue over who is going to take trays up to Young Mr Jeter, and Mr Rodriguez. Mrs Slocombe says she is quite satisfyied serving Mr Torre. Capt Peacocks tales of athletic prowess are as believeable as his military record, and Mr Steinbrenner is not impressed with Rumbold's manegerial skills.
On Game day, Malcolm Heathcliff tries to start trouble, but an errant line drive puts him in his place. Overall the event is a success, and the Manor earms alot of money and prestige. The Staff all get team shirts, Mr Moulterd also gets a new hat, and Mr Humphries also gets a Louisville Slugger. Even Miss Lovelock found it enjoyable. Originally disdainful of American athletes, she had a change of heart when she found out that many of them were mult-millionaires. She says that Mr Rodriguez handles his bat effectively, and Mr Rivera is a good finisher.

I know I've ticked off alot of peple with my choice of team.

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

I was just thinking that G&F needed a happy ending...

After repairing the Petrified Pussy hole, the staff continue renovations at the Manor. With all the improvements to the Manorhouse, Jessica Lovelock begins to feel put out and isolated in her Groom's Quarters. When her complaints fall on deaf ears (as she didn't help out the staff during the other renovations) she threatens to use her co-executor status to contest Mr. Grace's will and become the sole heir to his fortune. So she leaves the Manor for a week to consult her personal lawyer in London.

Panicked, the staff decide to mollify her with a redo of her Groom's Quarters. During the deconstruction, they find a legal document hidden behind the headboard of Jessica's bed. It is an Addendum to Mr. Grace's will, fully notarized and legal, that apparently Jessica was not aware of, but had been placed there so Mr. Grace could spring it on her at an appropriate time.

The Addendum of the will clearly states, "Any Beneficiary of the Will that contests the Will or vacates the premises for a period of longer than a fortnight in the first three years, loses their Beneficiary rights, monies, and privileges." It also states what Jessica had to do to become a beneficiary in the first place, but we won't go into that here!

The staff have Mr. Thorpe go over the document, validate it's legitimacy with the local court, and have him break the news to Jessica in London.

I'll leave it up to everyone to decide whether she returns humbled and is forgiven or whether she stays away and the staff live happily ever after without her. :D

[Aidan Phoenix]

Another crossover idea: How Clean is Your House? Kim and Aggie travel to Millstone Manor to find that it's not terrible but there is lots of dust, must, grime, mildew, and mould everywhere. Aggie takes samples from the kitchen, one bathroom, Mrs Slocombe's bed, and from Mavis. The results are terrifying; she actually refuses to reveal what was found on Mavis, but that it had been sent to Cambridge to be studied and named. Humphries is so frightened he bans her from his bedroom, calls one of his friends who went to work for the CDC in Atlanta, dons a bio suit, and empties a barrel of generic Lysol in his bedroom. Once it's cleared he puts new bolts on both doors that lead into the bedroom. Kim then takes both Mavis and Morris out to a car wash in the nearest town - along with a peck of lemons, a gallon of cider vinegar, two bottles of shampoo, and a box of Frontline. They're gone for five hours.
Over the next three days Kim, Aggie, and the MM staff work together with the HCIYH? crew to get it sparkling. Finally it's done and the staff are practically on bended knee thanking the Queens of Clean, who are beaming with joy. But when they return two weeks later they find Millstone Manor still looks wonderful but Mavis and Morris are both grungy again. Just as they're leaving, shaking their heads and tutting, they're stopped by Humphries who begs them to take him back to London, because Mavis picked the locks on his door.

[gracegirl1974]

I was just thinking that G&F needed a happy ending...

After repairing the Petrified Pussy hole, the staff continue renovations at the Manor. With all the improvements to the Manorhouse, Jessica Lovelock begins to feel put out and isolated in her Groom's Quarters. When her complaints fall on deaf ears (as she didn't help out the staff during the other renovations) she threatens to use her co-executor status to contest Mr. Grace's will and become the sole heir to his fortune. So she leaves the Manor for a week to consult her personal lawyer in London.

Panicked, the staff decide to mollify her with a redo of her Groom's Quarters. During the deconstruction, they find a legal document hidden behind the headboard of Jessica's bed. It is an Addendum to Mr. Grace's will, fully notarized and legal, that apparently Jessica was not aware of, but had been placed there so Mr. Grace could spring it on her at an appropriate time.

The Addendum of the will clearly states, "Any Beneficiary of the Will that contests the Will or vacates the premises for a period of longer than a fortnight in the first three years, loses their Beneficiary rights, monies, and privileges." It also states what Jessica had to do to become a beneficiary in the first place, but we won't go into that here!

The staff have Mr. Thorpe go over the document, validate it's legitimacy with the local court, and have him break the news to Jessica in London.

I'll leave it up to everyone to decide whether she returns humbled and is forgiven or whether she stays away and the staff live happily ever after without her. :D
Very good Capt. Joe :thumbup:, I think she would have returned humbled and they would have forgiven her.

[Lady Stableforth]

I don't know if Ms. Lovelock would have gotten Young Mr. Grace's Fortune as he left the bulk of his estate to a charity - The Home for Fallen Women:shrug:. Also i would have liked to have seen a Flashback as to why Mavis was angry at her ex-boyfriend Malcolm.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

Also i would have liked to have seen a Flashback as to why Mavis was angry at her ex-boyfriend Malcolm.

She caught Malcolm and Jesse "tooing and froing" behind the hedges once and felt she could never complete.

[Lady Stableforth]

:cheekydevil:

[larsen525]

I was just thinking that G&F needed a happy ending...


I'll leave it up to everyone to decide whether she returns humbled and is forgiven or whether she stays away and the staff live happily ever after without her. :D

Jessica is forgiven, provided Mavis gives her a good spanking first, in front of all the other staff members and the camera. :brow:

- E.

[Lady Stableforth]

:cheekydevil:

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

She caught Malcolm and Jesse "tooing and froing" behind the hedges once and felt she could never complete.

I wonder what would have happened if Mavis caught Mr. Humphries with someone? Would she have felt jilted or jealous?

And visa versa, what if Mr. Humphries caught Mavis with Malcolm in the woodshed? Would he have been jealous? And if so, of whom?

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

Jessica is forgiven, provided Mavis gives her a good spanking first, in front of all the other staff members and the camera. :brow:

- E.

Mavis spanking Jessica ?? I'd be one of the first "up" to buy the DVD.

I wonder what would have happened if Mavis caught Mr. Humphries with someone? Would she have felt jilted or jealous?

And visa versa, what if Mr. Humphries caught Mavis with Malcolm in the woodshed? Would he have been jealous? And if so, of whom?

Malcolm :yes:

[BasilBJr]

In a never-ending quest to humiliate the Staff, Malcolm Heathcliff chanenges the Staff to a game of football(soccer). The Staff try to ignore him, they have guests to attend to. But Malcolm is persistant, and the Staff wonderwhat they are going to do; none of them are very skilled in football. Then one of the guests steps forward and offers his assistance. His name is Mr Beckham. He calls some aquaintences, and their team throughly trounces Malcolm's Tender Bottom team. As an added bonus, Mr Beckham's spicy wife puts on a performance for the Staff and guests.

[sonosun]

:)

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[BasilBJr]

The Staff receive word that their Royal Neighbor will be paying a social call. Knowing that to decline would be very bad for Millstone Manor, the Staff scramble to get everything ready while attending to the guests they already have. Despite the usual fiascos, they manage to make it work. Toward the end Mr Humphries inadvertantly wanders between the Royal Neighbor and a couple by the name of Mr and Mrs Middleton, and has one of his visions, something about a wedding. Remembering his last vision, the Staff think it is absurd. There is no way the Royal Neighbor would allow his son to marry a common girl.

[gracegirl1974]

:thumbup:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[BasilBJr]

Rumbold is injured during his latest idea to improve farming at the Manor. Laid up for awhile, he invites his friend Gordon Brittas to take over as manager. Mr Brittas throws himself into it with his usual brand of enthusiastic incompetance, sending the situation at the Manor into a tailspin. Mrs Brittas is taken with Mr Humphries, much to his chagrin, Mavis' annoyance, and Peacock's frustration. Finally the Staff try to set things right by sending Mr Brittas to a meeting with Malcolm Heathcliff.

[gracegirl1974]

:thumbup:

[BasilBJr]

The local MP Jed Madden, and his wife Rose, make a tour of the district. Naturally this takes them to the Manor. Jed is a typical English gentleman, never without his hat, and Rose wears her hair in a severe bun. Yet they seem to have an overt familiarity with the Manor, which leaves the Staff puzzled, but they are too polite to ask. Then Mavis returns from the fields, and reveals a startling truth; Jed Madden is really Mad Jed, the cowman who fell on his head, and Rose is Rosie Bell the dairy maid who had a vision that made her hair stand on end. To prove it, Rose undoes her bun and her hair shoots out in all directions. When Mavis reveals that she is bunking up with Mr Humphries, Rosie reveals that that was the vision that made her hair stand up.

[BasilBJr]

Two TV producers, Mr Lloyd, and Mr Croft come to stay at the Manor. After spending some time with the Staff, they think their misadventures would make a great television series.. The Staff is skeptical; who'd want to see a series set in a department store? What would it be called "Are You Being Served? Mavis suggests that Mr Humphries could write it, but he declines, saying that he's not going to go through that again.

[BasilBJr]

Mr Thorpe informs the Staff that a group of doctors has booked a covention. But the Staff finds out on the day of the convention, is that all the dortors are named Who. At the end, the Doctors agree that they have never faced anything like that in any timestream in the universe.

[Lady Stableforth]

Mr. Cecil G. Slocombe returns to Milstone Manor after changing his mind about buying the country hotel and just as he is about to go around the property, spots his ex-wife coming down the stairs and is stunned! and Mrs. Slocombe is also stunned as well, but he discovers that she is part owner and has to have an even bigger bid than before, her reason is that she thought he would come back to her. He decides to run off with Ms. Lovelock instead and that makes Captain Peacock very jealous and Ms. Brahms and Mrs. Slocombe very satisfied.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[cpl.er...Capt. Joe]

Not bad Martha! :clap: You gave me an idea that when Mrs. Slocombe comes down the stairs, to avoid admitting she lives there and to avoid a sale to Cecil, she pretends to be a guest wanting to buy the place herself! With her fake bidding higher and him bidding insanely more real cash, the staff has to decide whether to humor her and stay together or cop the big Cecil Lolly and disband wealthy.

[Lady Stableforth]

thank you cpl.er...Capt. Joe, as Mrs. Slocombe said "It Just came to me"

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:yes:

[BasilBJr]

An episode showing various scenes from the point of view of the animals.


TIDDLES - "I hate it when she calls me a pussy!"


GOAT - "You touch my food and I'll knock you into the next county."


BETSY the COW - "Hurry up, I really gotta go"

"Ohh cold hands, cold hands."

"Bleeding Town Folk, I'll show you country living. FIRE IN THE HOLE! Drat, missed.


GEORGE THE UNINTERESTED ROOSTER - "I'm free."


SHEEP - "As soon as she removes the gate, run for it."

"One out, the lot out."

"You can take our wool, but you'll never take our freedom!"

"That's right, we ALL came back. What are you going to do now, John Wayne?!"


DONKEY - "You'll have to fork out alot more than a bunch of carrots to get me out there."


ARAB HORSE - "She's had her legs around alot more than just me."


CART HORSE - "We do all the work, that Arab gets all the love."

"Move it, you Human's Ass!"

JOSEPH LEE'S HORSE - "YEEEHAAA, run like the wind! Eat you heart out Seabisuit!"

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol: :lol:

[BasilBJr]

An episode showing various scenes from the point of view of the animals.


TIDDLES - "I hate it when she calls me a pussy!"


GOAT - "You touch my food and I'll knock you into the next county."


BETSY the COW - "Hurry up, I really gotta go"

"Ohh cold hands, cold hands."

"Bleeding Town Folk, I'll show you country living. FIRE IN THE HOLE! Drat, missed.


GEORGE THE UNINTERESTED ROOSTER - "I'm free."


SHEEP - "As soon as she removes the gate, run for it."

"One out, the lot out."

"You can take our wool, but you'll never take our freedom!"

"That's right, we ALL came back. What are you going to do now, John Wayne?!"


DONKEY - "You'll have to fork out alot more than a bunch of carrots to get me out there."


ARAB HORSE - "She's had her legs around alot more than just me."


CART HORSE - "We do all the work, that Arab gets all the love."

"Move it, you Human's Ass!"

JOSEPH LEE'S HORSE - "YEEEHAAA, run like the wind! Eat you heart out Seabisuit!"


SHEEP - "Where's Mr Conklin?"


CART HORSE - "They got me up at 1 am to rescue a bunch of sheep!"

SHEEP - "Yeah what about it, fugitive from a glue factory."

HORSE - "Look who's talking, Lamb Chop."

ROOSTER - "Belt up all of you, I have to wake up eveyone in three hours."

SHEEP - "Whatever, Sparrow-fart."

[sonosun]

An episode showing various scenes from the point of view of the animals.


TIDDLES - "I hate it when she calls me a pussy!"


GOAT - "You touch my food and I'll knock you into the next county."


BETSY the COW - "Hurry up, I really gotta go"

"Ohh cold hands, cold hands."

"Bleeding Town Folk, I'll show you country living. FIRE IN THE HOLE! Drat, missed.


GEORGE THE UNINTERESTED ROOSTER - "I'm free."


SHEEP - "As soon as she removes the gate, run for it."

"One out, the lot out."

"You can take our wool, but you'll never take our freedom!"

"That's right, we ALL came back. What are you going to do now, John Wayne?!"


DONKEY - "You'll have to fork out alot more than a bunch of carrots to get me out there."


ARAB HORSE - "She's had her legs around alot more than just me."


CART HORSE - "We do all the work, that Arab gets all the love."

"Move it, you Human's Ass!"

JOSEPH LEE'S HORSE - "YEEEHAAA, run like the wind! Eat you heart out Seabisuit!"


:lol::lol:

[sonosun]

SHEEP - "Where's Mr Conklin?"


CART HORSE - "They got me up at 1 am to rescue a bunch of sheep!"

SHEEP - "Yeah what about it, fugitive from a glue factory."

HORSE - "Look who's talking, Lamb Chop."

ROOSTER - "Belt up all of you, I have to wake up eveyone in three hours."

SHEEP - "Whatever, Sparrow-fart."


:lol::lol:

[you_shall_go_to_the_ball]

It would have been great if the Queen and/or King would have actually shown up in the episode where they got all ready for them to visit.

Also, it would have been interesting to see them go out into the community for an episode.

I just wish there were more episodes period.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:yes:

[Lady Stableforth]

SHEEP - "Where's Mr Conklin?"


CART HORSE - "They got me up at 1 am to rescue a bunch of sheep!"

SHEEP - "Yeah what about it, fugitive from a glue factory."

HORSE - "Look who's talking, Lamb Chop."

ROOSTER - "Belt up all of you, I have to wake up eveyone in three hours."

SHEEP - "Whatever, Sparrow-fart."
:emotlol::emotlol:

[BasilBJr]

[QUOTE=BasilBJr;237887]An episode showing various scenes from the point of view of the animals.


CHICKENS - "Oh brilliant, Sexy Knickers got her fat bum caught in the doorway.

PIGS - "Hey Lady, traveling with you aint no prize either.

DAISY THE COW - "Wasn't it brilliant the way I pretended to dry up so that they thought the place was cursed.

HUNTING DOGS - Forget the fox, send out the Pussy

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[Aidan Phoenix]

The staff hire a former hotel owner and his wife, who have come all the way from Torquay, looking for work. Basil Fawlty takes over as manager, much to Rumbold's chagrin, and is enraged when he finds out that Manuel is already employed as the assistant barman. To make matters worse, Sybil is already getting chatty with Slocombe and Brahms, ignoring guests when they come in and hen-pecking him every chance she gets. When Humphries and Manuel are caught in a compromising position in one of the rooms, it is up to Basil to begrudgingly comfort the Spaniard, who keeps whimpering, 'He want to take my leg from inside! I no want him take my leg!' Finally, Polly shows up, explains everything to Manuel, gets the guests taken care of, gets Basil a brandy for his nerves, and tells off Peacock when he tries to flirt with her.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[gracegirl1974]

Good one Aidan! :lol:

[sonosun]

Very nice Aidan.

[Lily the Tea Girl]

:lol: Love that one, Aidan.

[girlfriendofmrlucas]

Mr. Lucas finds out what the Grace Brothers gang is up to. He books a room under a nickname, Richard Rrrucas. As the Japanese man said in The Hand of Fate.
Upon his arrival, he first encounters Mavis and gives her the intended flowers that purchased for Miss Brahms. She is slightly flatterd.
He requests room service and Mrs. Slocombe brings it to him. He says, "breakfast in bed, Mrs. Slocombe? I'll scoot over if you promise to behave yourself."
Slocombe furiously sets down his lunch and warns the others.
Peacock is seeking to avenge the former but still cheeky junior. Miss Brahms seemed curious, however, it turns to animosity after Mavis blurts how charming he was and his flowers smelled lovely. Mr. Humphries had an expression of dismay, but goes to say hello to his former colleague.
The 3 scheme up a plan, while Mavis is poetical talking about him.
Miss Brahms tells Lucas where Mavis sleeps, in the farm house. Her father lives there too but is asleep by 8pm. At 8:25, Lucas creeps into the farm house, only to be bamboozled. Mr. Molters thinks Lucas is Mrs. Slocombe coming in for some past times. Lucas knocks Molterd out, causing Mavis to join the others in disdain.
Lucas leaves the hotel in shame and without a bird.

[sonosun]

Very nice.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:(

[girlfriendofmrlucas]

But then he comes home and I'm there :) so it's all good!

[sonosun]

But then he comes home and I'm there :) so it's all good!


:lol:

[Lady Stableforth]

Mr. Franko from the Sports Dept. comes for a visit only to find Mr. Humphries in hiding because he is not in the mood to wrestle again so the two of them go out for a drink instead. And then when they reach the pub Mavis's ex-boyfriend shows up and warns mr. humphries again about going out with mavis so mr. franko defends mr. humphries honour and wrestles with malcolm outside the pub. Beating Malcolm and gives him a warning and Malcolm leaves with his tail between his legs.

[gracegirl1974]

Mr. Franko from the Sports Dept. comes for a visit only to find Mr. Humphries in hiding because he is not in the mood to wrestle again so the two of them go out for a drink instead. And then when they reach the pub Mavis's ex-boyfriend shows up and warns mr. humphries again about going out with mavis so mr. franko defends mr. humphries honour and wrestles with malcolm outside the pub. Beating Malcolm and gives him a warning and Malcolm leaves with his tail between his legs. :thumbup: I like it! :D

[girlfriendofmrlucas]

Mr. Franko from the Sports Dept. comes for a visit only to find Mr. Humphries in hiding because he is not in the mood to wrestle again so the two of them go out for a drink instead. And then when they reach the pub Mavis's ex-boyfriend shows up and warns mr. humphries again about going out with mavis so mr. franko defends mr. humphries honour and wrestles with malcolm outside the pub. Beating Malcolm and gives him a warning and Malcolm leaves with his tail between his legs.

Quite right!:)

[Lady Stableforth]

Thanks Guys! :):slocombehair:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:clap:

[MarkSentMe]

A "Cocoon"-type episode where the staff gets ahold of some magical elixir scrumpy!!

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

That would be funny. The staff running around as a bunch of 10 year olds.

[MarkSentMe]

That would be funny. The staff running around as a bunch of 10 year olds.


Like the episode of "Twilight Zone"- Kick the Can!! (My favorite Twilight Zone, ever!)

[Lady Stableforth]

actually we already saw that in "Memories Are Made of This"

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

actually we already saw that in "Memories Are Made of This"

Well we got to see Slocombe and how annoying was that ? I was kinda thinking this time they'd use actual kids instead of older actors trying to be kids.

[MarkSentMe]

Well we got to see Slocombe and how annoying was that ? I was kinda thinking this time they'd use actual kids instead of older actors trying to be kids.

Yes...and ALL of them as actual children.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:yes:

[MarkSentMe]

Mrs. Slocombe whuppin' Malcolm's butt for harassing Mr. Humphries.

Millstone Manor actually would have been kick-butt if the maintenance staff, the cleaning staff, and the canteen staff would have been invited to live there. There was plenty of room...the daily ruckus between the classes living in such close quarters would have been hysterical.

[gracegirl1974]

Mrs. Slocombe whuppin' Malcolm's butt for harassing Mr. Humphries.

Millstone Manor actually would have been kick-butt if the maintenance staff, the cleaning staff, and the canteen staff would have been invited to live there. There was plenty of room...the daily ruckus between the classes living in such close quarters would have been hysterical.:yes:

[BasilBJr]

With the untimely death of Mr Moulterd, the manor needs a new farm manager. Applying for the post is a distinguished older gentleman. Before he can introduce himself, Mavis recognizes him as her uncle Maxwell, who she hasn't seen in years. Maxwell is a recently retired military officer with a distinguished career, who has decided to return to his home village. With no other suitible applicants (maybe a Mr Cleghampton), Max gets the job, although the staff wonders if he is really up to it. But once he's out of his uniform, and into his work gear, he's a virtual double for his older brother. Peacock is impressed with his military credentials, but Max spots him as a phony. And it turns out that Mrs Slocombe had aquaintenceship with more than one Moulterd while a landgirl in Tiverton.

See excerpts from the episode in Fanfiction in six parts. Two are labled Pt5

[sonosun]

What BasilBjr said! It's good reading.

[gracegirl1974]

What BasilBjr said! It's good reading. I agree. :yes:

[BasilBJr]

The new spinach crop has a dramatic effect on Mr Humphries. After eating a plateful, his forearms swell up, he starts squinting in one eye, and talks in a nearly unintelligable accent with strange `pronunskiations'. He then goes to confront Malcolm declaring "That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more." After knocking out Malcolm, the rest of the Staff are left to wonder where the dramatic music came from.

[MarkSentMe]

pffft pffft pfffftttt...snort...ha ha ha ha ha

[MarkSentMe]

Since they now live on a farm, Mrs. Slocombe could become a crazy cat lady. That Ginger tom and Tiddles could have about 20 litters!

[gracegirl1974]

:lol:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

Since they now live on a farm, Mrs. Slocombe could become a crazy cat lady. That Ginger tom and Tiddles could have about 20 litters!

I'm slowly becoming "crazy cat man".

[BasilBJr]

The Manor gets a booking for the Gracie family. The Staff wonder if they are distant relations of Young Mr Grace. Instead, they discover that the Gracies are the MMA family, which comes in quite useful when Malcolm come by with some of his thug friends.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[Red Shadow]

The Manor gets a booking for the Gracie family. The Staff wonder if they are distant relations of Young Mr Grace. Instead, they discover that the Gracies are the MMA family, which comes in quite useful when Malcolm come by with some of his thug friends.

And if a member of the Gracie family causes any interruption in Mrs. Slocombe's Saturday afternoon BINGO!, we could have another wrestling match in a ring.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[Aidan Phoenix]

A young man comes to the manor bearing two trunks. Humphries takes them upstairs while the man fills out some paperwork. Upon arriving in the guest's room, one of the trunks falls from Humphries' grip and opens, revealing a small hand. Humphries freaks out and races downstairs, jumps into Brahms' arms, and cries, 'I just found a human hand in his trunk! Call the police!'
The man soon turns out to be Jeff Dunham and offers to do a show to attract guests. Morris Moulterd almost believes that Walter is a real person and even gets into an argument with the puppet.

[MarkSentMe]

A young man comes to the manor bearing two trunks. Humphries takes them upstairs while the man fills out some paperwork. Upon arriving in the guest's room, one of the trunks falls from Humphries' grip and opens, revealing a small hand. Humphries freaks out and races downstairs, jumps into Brahms' arms, and cries, 'I just found a human hand in his trunk! Call the police!'
The man soon turns out to be Jeff Dunham and offers to do a show to attract guests. Morris Moulterd almost believes that Walter is a real person and even gets into an argument with the puppet.


I was hoping it would have turned into a tie-in with the short story "The Monkeys Paw" by author W. W. Jacobs. :)

[MarkSentMe]

I would have liked a Christmas episode. Maybe done up like a Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special with guest actors at the Manor.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

A young man comes to the manor bearing two trunks. Humphries takes them upstairs while the man fills out some paperwork. Upon arriving in the guest's room, one of the trunks falls from Humphries' grip and opens, revealing a small hand. Humphries freaks out and races downstairs, jumps into Brahms' arms, and cries, 'I just found a human hand in his trunk! Call the police!'
The man soon turns out to be Jeff Dunham and offers to do a show to attract guests. Morris Moulterd almost believes that Walter is a real person and even gets into an argument with the puppet.

:lol:

[sonosun]

A young man comes to the manor bearing two trunks. Humphries takes them upstairs while the man fills out some paperwork. Upon arriving in the guest's room, one of the trunks falls from Humphries' grip and opens, revealing a small hand. Humphries freaks out and races downstairs, jumps into Brahms' arms, and cries, 'I just found a human hand in his trunk! Call the police!'
The man soon turns out to be Jeff Dunham and offers to do a show to attract guests. Morris Moulterd almost believes that Walter is a real person and even gets into an argument with the puppet.

Does the puppet do well in the arguement? Does he really pull Moulterd's strings? :)

[sonosun]

I would have liked a Christmas episode. Maybe done up like a Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special with guest actors at the Manor.

As long as Pee Wee stays away from magazines. If you know what I mean.

[BasilBJr]

As long as Pee Wee stays away from magazines. If you know what I mean.

Maybe Mr Humphries would recommend a raincoat.

[MarkSentMe]

Maybe Mr Humphries would recommend a raincoat.

It will ride up with wear!

[sonosun]

Maybe Mr Humphries would recommend a raincoat.

:lol:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[BasilBJr]

MAY TO DECEMBER TO MILLSTONE

Alec and Zoe Callender come to the Manor to try and enjoy a quiet vacation. Jamie is there as well and flirts with Miss Lovelock, who is somewhat interested in the young lawyer, much to Peacock's consternation. Simone is there but is not enjoying it. The prudish vicar's wife is repulsed by the mannerisms of Maurice and Mavis Moulterd. Things heat up when Malcolm come by and tries to make good on his threats. Alec steps in a threatens him with lawsuits based on numerous laws and cases, some of which don't exist. That scares Malcolm more than any physical threat, and he slinks off. When it is mentioned that Mr Thorpe is their Solicitor, Alec mentions that he once worked in the Thorpe firm.

[BasilBJr]

There should have been some sort of moving day episode where the Staff brought all their belonging from London to the Manor. No doubt it would have been a chaotic mess.

[Lady Stableforth]

i wondered why they brought so little luggage? i mean mr. thorpe asked if they would like to spend the night?

[MarkSentMe]

i wondered why they brought so little luggage? i mean mr. thorpe asked if they would like to spend the night?

For folks that brought so little luggage, they were hooked up clothes-wise!

[sonosun]

They must have recieved a Van at some point with all of their belongings. I see the driver now with the bell cord in his hand.

[BasilBJr]

KEEPING UP WITH THE MILLSTONE

The Kardahian sisters visit the Manor, which sends Capt. Peacock's hormones into overdrive. The sisters however are moe interested in Mr Humphries, much to his embarrassment and Mavis' annoyance. When Kim say that she is sure that this Mr Humphries would last more than 70 days, he faints.

[BasilBJr]

KHARMA, KHARMA KHARMA KHARMA MILLSTONE

The 80s group Culture Club have a reunion at the Manor. They are quite taken with Mr Humphries. Mrs Slocombe is shocked speechless when Young Mr George asks her for hair and makeup tips.

[sonosun]

:lol:

[MarkSentMe]

KHARMA, KHARMA KHARMA KHARMA MILLSTONE

The 80s group Culture Club have a reunion at the Manor. They are quite taken with Mr Humphries. Mrs Slocombe is shocked speechless when Young Mr George asks her for hair and makeup tips.

Good choice!

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

KHARMA, KHARMA KHARMA KHARMA MILLSTONE

The 80s group Culture Club have a reunion at the Manor. They are quite taken with Mr Humphries. Mrs Slocombe is shocked speechless when Young Mr George asks her for hair and makeup tips.

:thumbup:

[Lucas The Tucas]

:goldie:

[BasilBJr]

i wondered why they brought so little luggage? i mean mr. thorpe asked if they would like to spend the night?

Mrs Slocombe brought Tiddles, she wouldn't travel anywhere without her pussy.

[MarkSentMe]

i wondered why they brought so little luggage? i mean mr. thorpe asked if they would like to spend the night?
It looks like they brought enough for one night...only on Gilligan's Island do they bring steamer trunks full of fur coats and money for a Three Hour Cruise! :lol:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

It looks like they brought enough for one night...only on Gilligan's Island do they bring steamer trunks full of fur coats and money for a Three Hour Cruise! :lol:

:lol::lol:

[gracegirl1974]

KEEPING UP WITH THE MILLSTONE

The Kardahian sisters visit the Manor, which sends Capt. Peacock's hormones into overdrive. The sisters however are moe interested in Mr Humphries, much to his embarrassment and Mavis' annoyance. When Kim say that she is sure that this Mr Humphries would last more than 70 days, he faints. :lol:

[gracegirl1974]

KHARMA, KHARMA KHARMA KHARMA MILLSTONE

The 80s group Culture Club have a reunion at the Manor. They are quite taken with Mr Humphries. Mrs Slocombe is shocked speechless when Young Mr George asks her for hair and makeup tips. :emotlol:

[BasilBJr]

While reading through some old records of the Manor, the Staff learn that many, many years ago there was a group that consisted of Young Mr Kringle, his wife, several diminutive people, and an older man named Mr Warlock (Winter, please.)

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol::lol:
Can you imagine Mr. Moulterd putting one foot in front of the other ?

[BasilBJr]

Mrs Slcombe wouldn't mind seeing him walking out the door.

:slocrhino:"Mr Kringle, although we may have been aquainted many years ago in Sombertown, the passage of time has cancled out any familiarity."

MOULTERD KRINGLE - "You aint half come on since you was known as the Sombertown Bicycle."

[MarkSentMe]

LOL! About choked on a piece of candy cane!! PFFFtttt Pfffttttt!!

[gracegirl1974]

Mrs Slcombe wouldn't mind seeing him walking out the door.

:slocrhino:"Mr Kringle, although we may have been aquainted many years ago in Sombertown, the passage of time has cancled out any familiarity."

MOULTERD KRINGLE - "You aint half come on since you was known as the Sombertown Bicycle." :emotlol:

[MarkSentMe]

Mrs Slcombe wouldn't mind seeing him walking out the door.

:slocrhino:"Mr Kringle, although we may have been aquainted many years ago in Sombertown, the passage of time has cancled out any familiarity."

MOULTERD KRINGLE - "You aint half come on since you was known as the Sombertown Bicycle."

STILL FUNNY!!!

:lol::lol:
Can you imagine Mr. Moulterd putting one foot in front of the other ?

And then his trousers falling down like they did during the cricket game!!

[Aidan Phoenix]

The staff open the bar up to the locals in the hopes of earning a few extra bob. Their regular customers are a postman who spouts useless trivia, a psychiatrist couple with issues of their own, and an obese alcoholic who always arrives at the same time every afternoon for a cold beer (his patronage is so regular that they cry out his name in greeting the moment he walks in the door).

[gracegirl1974]

The staff open the bar up to the locals in the hopes of earning a few extra bob. Their regular customers are a postman who spouts useless trivia, a psychiatrist couple with issues of their own, and an obese alcoholic who always arrives at the same time every afternoon for a cold beer (his patronage is so regular that they cry out his name in greeting the moment he walks in the door).:thumbup: :lol:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[MarkSentMe]

They locate a strong box with an updated amended will, leaving the staff a huge retirement, and a note saying that the manor is really the maids' quarters and that their mansion is a half-mile down the road- looking like Biltmore Estate. They are reunited with Mr. Lucas, Mr. Tebbs, the cleaning staff, Packing and Maintenance, canteen staff. Every department has their own wing and is fully-staffed for their pampered retirement. And the Moulterds, for all their years of loyal service are also included.

...we now return you to your regularly scheduled program....already in progress!

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[sonosun]

They locate a strong box with an updated amended will, leaving the staff a huge retirement, and a note saying that the manor is really the maids' quarters and that their mansion is a half-mile down the road- looking like Biltmore Estate. They are reunited with Mr. Lucas, Mr. Tebbs, the cleaning staff, Packing and Maintenance, canteen staff. Every department has their own wing and is fully-staffed for their pampered retirement. And the Moulterds, for all their years of loyal service are also included.

...we now return you to your regularly scheduled program....already in progress!


Very nice.

[BasilBJr]

:lol::lol:
Can you imagine Mr. Moulterd putting one foot in front of the other ?

He wouldn't mind Mrs Slocombe sitting on his lap today.

[BasilBJr]

There is a booking for a tour group consisting of Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Diana Prince, Hal Jordan, Barry Allen, Oliver Queen, Arthur Curry, Billy Batson, and John Jones.

[sonosun]

Holy Heroes Batman!

[gracegirl1974]

There is a booking for a tour group consisting of Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Diana Prince, Hal Jordan, Barry Allen, Oliver Queen, Arthur Curry, Billy Batson, and John Jones. :thumbup: Cool! :)

[Lucas The Tucas]

Basil,

Can you please include ....... Allen Quartermain ! :yes:

[BasilBJr]

Basil,

Can you please include ....... Allen Quartermain ! :yes:




In a group that also consisted of Capt Nemo, Mina Harker the Bride of Dracula, the Invisible Man, Dr Henry Jekell, Dorian Grey, and U.S. Secret Service Special Agent Tom Sawyer.

"The League of Extraordinary Millstone"

[MarkSentMe]

The staff contact the local police to report strange occurrences which began after the removal of a petrified pussy. Said police then contact the U.S. FBI since the locals were ill-equipped to handle unexplained phenomena. Arriving on the scene are Special Agents Fox Mulder (whom Moulterd believes is a distant relative) and Dana Scully. When the sheep from the next farm over suddenly burst into flames, Millenium Group Member Frank Black is contacted for his profiling expertise. Mulder is up to his ears in estrogen as Scully and Miss Lovelock square off in the lounge.
Strange things are afoot at Millstone Manor as a twisted tapestry of folklore, government cover-ups, geriatric hy-jinks, vivid visions, and sexual tensions heat up.
Fridays at 9 pm on your local Sci-Fi Channel. Check local listings or contact your local cable or satellite provider.

[gracegirl1974]

Nice! :)

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[BasilBJr]

Dr Bruce Banner come to the Manor hoping for a nice quiet vacation. It stays quiet until Malcolm Heathcliff makes his latest threat. That makes Dr Banner angry, and you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

[BasilBJr]

The Manor gets a booking from a tour party lead by Prof. Charles Xavier

[MarkSentMe]

Dr Bruce Banner come to the Manor hoping for a nice quiet vacation. It stays quiet until Malcolm Heathcliff makes his latest threat. That makes Dr Banner angry, and you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

If he goes all Hulked-out, will Mavis mistake him for the Green Giant and chop down his Brussels sprouts??

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

Dr Bruce Banner come to the Manor hoping for a nice quiet vacation. It stays quiet until Malcolm Heathcliff makes his latest threat. That makes Dr Banner angry, and you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

Humphries falls in love the "hulking" green man instantly.

[gracegirl1974]

:lol:

[BasilBJr]

Humphries falls in love the "hulking" green man instantly.


But Young Mr Hulk would fall for Mrs Slocombe when he sees her green hair.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

"Hulk see's Hulk's mom !!" :lol:

[BasilBJr]

Humphries falls in love the "hulking" green man instantly.


"Hulk free!!!"

[gracegirl1974]

:lol:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

ROTFLMAO !!!! :emotlol:

[sonosun]

:emotlol:

[BasilBJr]

While studying repo techniques in the UK, Ronnie, Bobby and Amy from Lizard Lick Towing stay at the Manor. Mr Humphries faints everytime they mention getting licked.

[BasilBJr]

The Bundy and the Rhodes family stay at the Manor. Need I go on?

[BasilBJr]

Humphries falls in love the "hulking" green man instantly.


Maybe Mr Humphries will absorb some gamma rays and turn into a version of the Hulk call "The Hump".

:humpmad:"Hump Smash!!!"

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

ROTFLMAO !!! :emotlol:

[sonosun]

Maybe Mr Humphries will absorb some gamma rays and turn into a version of the Hulk call "The Hump".

:humpmad:"Hump Smash!!!"

:emotlol:

[Lily the Tea Girl]

Maybe Mr Humphries will absorb some gamma rays and turn into a version of the Hulk call "The Hump".

:humpmad:"Hump Smash!!!"
:lol:

[Lily the Tea Girl]

Dr Bruce Banner come to the Manor hoping for a nice quiet vacation. It stays quiet until Malcolm Heathcliff makes his latest threat. That makes Dr Banner angry, and you wouldn't like him when he's angry.
And when the Hulk's pants stay on, Mr Humphries will say "His trousers rode up with wear!"

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[BasilBJr]

Captain Peacock's cousin Morgan comes to visit. Morgan is in the Navy and is the commanding officer of a ship.

[MarkSentMe]

Captain Peacock's cousin Morgan comes to visit. Morgan is in the Navy and is the commanding officer of a ship.

Captain Morgan??

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[BasilBJr]

Captain Morgan??

I think Mrs Slocombe would be interested in Captain Morgan.

[MarkSentMe]

I think Mrs Slocombe would be interested in Captain Morgan.
http://i1.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/lens2280500_1275583046Captain_Morgan.jpg

He has such an intoxicating personality! He would be the life of the party!

[BasilBJr]

http://i1.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/lens2280500_1275583046Captain_Morgan.jpg

He has such an intoxicating personality! He would be the life of the party!

Maybe he would introduce her to his friends Jose Cuervo and Johnny Walker.

[MarkSentMe]

Maybe he would introduce her to his friends Jose Cuervo and Johnny Walker.

And Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and Evan Williams!
She'd have so many men...her head would spin!

[BasilBJr]

And Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and Evan Williams!
She'd have so many men...her head would spin!

Would she like Bud Weiser?

[sonosun]

Perhaps our Mrs Slocombe would prefer a wine that comes with a Pussy of many colors. Check out the link.


http://www.winebuys.com/870-1102.html

[gracegirl1974]

Perhaps our Mrs Slocombe would prefer a wine that comes with a Pussy of many colors. Check out the link.


http://www.winebuys.com/870-1102.html I think Mrs. Slocombe would love them. :yes:

[MarkSentMe]

I think Mrs. Slocombe would love them. :yes:


I would love them! I don't drink wine very often...but those look cool!

[MarkSentMe]

Would she like Bud Weiser?

She'd LOVE Bud Weiser...but I think she would give her heart to Samuel Adams!!

[BasilBJr]

She'd LOVE Bud Weiser...but I think she would give her heart to Samuel Adams!!

I think she would, there's almost as many varieties of Sam Adams as Mrs Slocombe has hair colors.

[Aidan Phoenix]

So, would Humphries try to get a little Captain in him? http://e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/sprint.gif

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

So, would Humphries try to get a little Captain in him? http://e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/sprint.gif

Like it would be the first time ?? He spent alot of time of ships. :goldie:

[MarkSentMe]

Like it would be the first time ?? He spent alot of time of ships. :goldie:

set...set...set...set...SLAM:

Well, he is rather fond of seamen!!

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[sonosun]

set...set...set...set...SLAM:

Well, he is rather fond of seamen!!

I'm glad Mark spelled that correctly. :lol: :lol:

[BasilBJr]

Memory Redux

While going about their business at the Manor. Mrs Slocombe and Mr Moulterd round the same corner at the same time and run into each other, knocking their heads together loosing their memories. The rest of the Staff react with "oh no, not again." Betty and Maurice revert back to their days in Tiverton and proceed to behave in a scandelous fashion toward one another. The Staff vainly try to keep the "youngsters" out of trouble. Eventually after an unseen visit by the local doctor, their memories are restored. Mrs Slocombe goes on about how humiliating and "ignononious" the situation was, but just before the credits roll, she tips Mr Moulterd the wink.

[gracegirl1974]

I love it! :lol:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

Me too ! :yes:

[sonosun]

Memory Redux

While going about their business at the Manor. Mrs Slocombe and Mr Moulterd round the same corner at the same time and run into each other, knocking their heads together loosing their memories. The rest of the Staff react with "oh no, not again." Betty and Maurice revert back to their days in Tiverton and proceed to behave in a scandelous fashion toward one another. The Staff vainly try to keep the "youngsters" out of trouble. Eventually after an unseen visit by the local doctor, their memories are restored. Mrs Slocombe goes on about how humiliating and "ignononious" the situation was, but just before the credits roll, she tips Mr Moulterd the wink.

Very nice :lol:

[BasilBJr]

Capt. Peacock is visited by his brother Gen. Reginald Peacock. The General is even more toffe-nosed than the Capt, regaling the others with tales of his deeds and awards, which are legit, and also with the beauty of his lady friends, belitting his brother in the process. The Staff come to realize that the reason Capt Peacock acted the way he did was because he was trying to compete with and earn the approval of his brother. Of course, this understanding does not change the Capt.'s behavior at all.

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

It would have been nice to see someone from Peacock's family.

[BasilBJr]

The Cunnighams, Young Mr Malth, Young Mr Weber, Young Mr Arcola, and Young Mr Fonzirelli come to stay at the Manor. Mr Humphries is quite facinated in Mr Fonzirelli, who scares of Malcolm Heathcliff. Mr Fonzirelli gives Mr Humphries a leather jacket. At the end of the episode, the Cunninghams suddenly realize that Chuck never showed up.

:humphappy:"I'm Free, AYYYYYYYYYY"

[sonosun]

:lol:

[gracegirl1974]

I love it! :lol:

[MarkSentMe]

G&F? and Grumpy Old Men!

[gracegirl1974]

G&F? and Grumpy Old Men! That would be hilarious, I would love that! :)

[BasilBJr]

Seeing Double

Graham Jones, Ida Willis, Truly Truelove, Pauline Fowler, and PC Jeff Yates come to the Manor to visit their look-alike cousins. It's mass confusion as they are never sure if they are talking to Staff or guests. When Toby Mulbery-Smith checks, the Staff wonders who he reminds them of.

[gracegirl1974]

I would like to see that! :yes:

[Greg WibblyWobbly]

:lol:

[sonosun]

:lol:

[MarkSentMe]

Crossover of G&F and Marblehead Manor.

[Lady Stableforth]

Graham Jones, Ida Willis, PC Jeff Yates - who played these characters?

[BasilBJr]

Graham Jones, Ida Willis, PC Jeff Yates - who played these characters?

Graham Jones - John Inman - "Take a Letter, Mr Jones."

Ida Willis - Molly Sugden -" That's My Boy"

P(olice) C(onsatable) Jeff Davis - Nicholas Smith - "Z Cars"

Pauline Fowler - Wendy Richard - "Eastenders"

Truly Truelove - Frank Thornton - "Last of the Summer Wine"

Toby Mulberry-Smith - Trevor Bannister - "Last of the Summer Wine"

[BasilBJr]

Graham Jones - John Inman - "Take a Letter, Mr Jones."

Ida Willis - Molly Sugden -" That's My Boy"

P(olice) C(onsatable) Jeff Davis - Nicholas Smith - "Z Cars"

Pauline Fowler - Wendy Richard - "Eastenders"

Truly Truelove - Frank Thornton - "Last of the Summer Wine"

Toby Mulberry-Smith - Trevor Bannister - "Last of the Summer Wine"

Should be P(olice) C(onstable) Jeff Yates - Nicholas Smith - "Z-Cars"

[Lady Stableforth]

thanks BasilBJr